(Reposted from BOM in 2015)
We live like kings and queens.
The house is warming as we wake. The bed is soft and clean, free of lice and fleas. Touch a button and the finest musicians play in our chamber as a pink dawn brightens the cold eastern sky. We read news from around the world, gathered overnight and printed three days' ride away, while drinking tea from India and China (six months by sail). Rising, we wash in heated water, dress in freshly laundered clothes and breakfast on plentiful hot food that needs no spice to mask rottenness.
And all without a single servant to scold.
At first, I read that as "Touch a bottom and the finest musicians play in our chamber...". In my dreams!